Just a little disclaimer before you read: I know there are lots of stereotypes here… you may or may not relate 😉
Dear Dads,
I know you may know this already, but a mother’s work is never done. Much of her work you will never see, unless you stay home all week to watch.
See those toilets, sinks, floors, and clothes? They have been washed and cleaned more times than you can imagine. Is your child’s face dirty? It has likely been washed five times already today. Toys out? For the tenth time. Mom has been busy all day, even if it is hard to see the evidence when you get home. That is because her work is never-ending.
And you know what, most days she can hardly even remember everything she did. Every day there are endless tasks – cooking, scrubbing, laundry, playing, putting kids to sleep, running errands, chasing kids around, feeding, washing, cleaning up accidents, organizing, shopping. You may get the picture but unless you have been there you really do not know how it feels. There are a million tasks but no clear “product” besides, of course, those beautiful kids you see running to you when you get home. Even they have no idea what mom has been up to all day, the jobs in between the dinosaur drawing and the pretend milkshake making. They just think it is mom’s job to be mom.
“I just need a break” is a phrase you have likely heard before. And honestly to do her best at the crazy, wonderful, sometimes emotionally confusing juggling act of motherhood, she really does need support. And sometimes, she just needs a break.
She has no coffee break during the day – yes the baby may have been sleeping but there were dishes to put away and diapers to wash. She has no co-workers to talk with, to tell her a joke, or to ask for advice on a project. No boss to say she’s done a good job. No pay rise, no holiday party. It can get pretty stressful, really redundant, and very lonely at times.
So please be her biggest ally. She will be a better mother from it.
What exactly does a “break” look like? Mom is not necessarily asking for a week long vacation. It does not mean she wants a day at the spa or a shopping spree either. (Although sometimes one of the prior options might be nice…)
Breaks do not have to be complicated or expensive. They just take a bit of your time and an effort from you to shower on her some TLC. She has been doing it all day to the kids… and might need her own “love tank” to be refilled.
To help you out with figuring out what a “break” might look like, I brainstormed and asked some other moms on my Facebook page for ideas.
Here is our list of 10 things Dad can to do give Mom a break:
(Moms, please add your own suggestions in the comments. I do not presume that all moms are the same… this is only one set of ideas!)
1. Make her a snack, or prepare a meal for the whole family.
Some mamas are often so busy preparing food for other people they forget to eat themselves. Having a snack or a meal made for you is such a nice treat! Something healthy but still tasty is the best.
Otherwise if you are around in time, take over responsibility for a whole meal! Take it from me, it is a bit draining to be making meals for the whole family day after day after day after day… sometimes you just get so sick of preparing food you rather go hungry than make something for yourself. Having someone make a meal for you is like a huge breath of fresh air.
Note: The meal in the picture above was made for me by my husband last weekend. Huge bonus points for a super thoughtful daddy!
2. Prepare an outing for the kids – and give her some time alone at home.
Give mama an hour or two at home to read and relax, catch up on housework, or even watch a movie. (And if it was “one of those days” take a shower, too…)
3. Offer to watch the kids at home so she can go out for a couple hours on her own.
Whether it’s to coffee or to get groceries (or to get that long overdue haircut), mamas need some time to be on their own sometimes. It really helps clear the mind and “reset” the emotional reserves.
4. Do some housework, without being asked or expecting recognition.
Notice some dishes in the sink? Don’t ask mama if she wants some help, just get down to business. Same goes for that basket of laundry on the bed, or the pots and pans on the drying rack. I know you may not know where everything goes… leave the things you aren’t sure of aside for her to help with later. Today is actually a great opportunity to learn where they go so you can take care of everything next time.
And please do not be offended if she does not notice the jobs you do. Did you thank her for the 700 cleaning tasks she did during the past week, or even know about 95% of them? She will likely say “thank you” but if not please don’t take it personally – she might just be too tired to notice (that does not mean she doesn’t appreciate it, though).
5. Play with the kids so she can prepare dinner, or do some other household necessity.
Dinner time is often crazy time. Entertain the kids in another area of the house so she can have free reign over the kitchen without little ones hanging off her legs asking when it is going to be ready.
Or just let her vacuum in peace. Without toys being piled in the middle of the lounge just before she could finish the carpet…
6. Plan a fun family outing, and execute it.
Some weekends mama would love to go out on a family excursion to the zoo or museum (or just a park…) but is wondering if it is worth all the effort of preparing… the snacks, the water bottles, the extra change of clothes, the diaper bag, the stroller, the carrier, the wipes, the extra snacks in case the first set of snacks runs out…
Do the work of getting everything prepared (including the kids pottied and fed) and then invite her to get into the car once everyone is ready. And please make sure it is planned appropriately around the baby’s nap times, if at all possible.
7. Take an opportunity to teach the kids something.
Teaching kids is hard work. How to peel a banana, how to drink from an open cup, how to wash hands after playing in the mud… they are simple things but they take repetition and lots (and LOTS) of patience. Get involved and make an effort to be in on some of these lessons. It is a win-win for both you and for mom, as mom gets some support and *you* get the priceless experience teaching your kids.
You may also like to come up with a completely new educational activity to engage the kids in… mom does it all the time and the kids would love to have dad’s spin on it. Extreme fort makeover, perhaps?
8. Organize a date for the two of you.
Sometimes mom just wants some time to be with you and… you know it – talk (and talk, and talk). Please, please give her this opportunity. Even if it is just making an effort to be around after the kids go to bed (before you both open your laptops), and asking her how her life is going. You do not have to go out of the house. But finding a tablecloth, lighting a candle, and surprising her with brownies will likely be an extra boost to help her feel extra special.
A bit of time set aside on a regular basis for verbal connection and appreciation – initiated by YOU – makes mom feel valued after doing so many jobs that go by unnoticed. Being truly seen and heard by your life partner can feel like the greatest “break” of all.
9. Give her time to have a nap, or sleep in.
Ahhh how much you appreciate sleep after becoming a parent. Offering to watch the kids as soon as they wake up, or for two hours during the afternoon, can be priceless.
10. Tell her how much you love and appreciate her.
You might be headed out the door to work, out of town, or simply busy taking care of other life issues when you wife needs a break. This is a good time just tell her you love her, appreciate her, and are so happy she is the mother of your children… it will be a “break” from her own thoughts, as many moms are their own worst critics.
Find a way to show her you support her, even if you cannot physically be there for her. She may, or may not, want “suggestions” to fix her “problem.” Just be a listening ear and ask her what specifically you can do to give her the break she needs, when you get the chance. It may be something totally unexpected.
So you see, sometimes by saying they need a “break” moms might really want some help, or some affection, or some emotional support… though it can also mean having some time alone. I loved this piece in the Huffington Post What We Mean When We Need A Break. My husband appreciated reading it too.
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Mamas, do you have any more ideas or suggestions for the dads in your lives? Which # is your favorite? Please share in the comments.
Join me on my Facebook page for more conversations about how families can support each other to connect, build character and make a difference in the world.
I just checked my calendar and yep, it’s definitely 2013. For a second there i thought I’d time travelled back to 1953…
Yes I realize there are lots of stereotypes here but… in discussing “mom” issues there often are. It’s never easy to put a whole range of views/situations into one piece.
After reading this it felt like you jumped in my head and wrote down my feelings. Both me and my hubby are on burn out because of him working 14 hours a day (although he always throws in-but I have off 3 days a week!-when he has his own plans going on)
I love being a stay at home mom. I have a wonderful caring husband. But the isolation and lack of freedom is sending me into a depression. We go through this over & over again-I complain about the same things – I need an “outing” atleast ONCE a week. And I don’t mean grocery shopping. I need a break just so I can freaking clean! How hard is it to take the 3 little kids outside to play so I can keep our home??? I know I sound upset, and I hate that it’s gotten to this point!
Yes, I understand. My husband is leaving me instead. He says I am too stressed out and should work and give the kids to him a couple nights a week. I don’t think they should have 2 beds. This is extremely hard, but he is also very stubborn. I believe he needs a man hole and he doesn’t think my stress is going to be very relaxing for him when he comes home to relax or out of his man hole. His home should be solace, he says and the only way to get this is by living alone. This is sad it has come to this, but he was never attentive anyway, so I would stress alot. Not to mention, we do everything natural. WE use cloth diapers, make our own soap, I cook everything from scratch to save money. I think I just need tools to make this work with the kids. I wish I would have found this site along time ago.
Yes, it’s 2013… which means women have a choice about whether to have someone else be with their kids all day or to be the ones to do it. Being home all day with the kids is a tremendous blessing – but it’s also one of the most challenging jobs there is (otherwise there would probably be more of us doing it!). This is a great list of ideas for giving stay-at-home-moms a break. I’m thankful to be married to a man who values my staying home with our children and does many of these things without my asking for them!
Wow! I just read this and felt like it completely summed up my day- I don’t think that makes me a 1950s housewife however. My husband’s job is to go outside the home and work. We decided that I would stay home during this time and take care of our children. Guess what? When you have kids, they don’t take care of themselves. I can do it or I can pay someone to do it. It’s that simlple. When you stay home this is what life looks like. I’m lucky that my husband is a big help to me but like the post says, your husband isn’t home all day and might not automatically know what to do to help. Everything doesn’t have to be a political/ ideological conflict when it comes to motherhood! I’m just trying to survive and thrive over here! Oy vey
Totally agree about the political and ideological conflict… Why do we do this to ourselves/each other!
Yep – definitely 2013… and I think you’re right on the money Chelsea. Mums and Dad’s both work hard, in and out of the house. SAHM’s can be blessed immensely by their husbands/partners doing the things you’ve listed above. I’m certainly thankful for my own hubby who does many of these and keeps me sane and smiling! 🙂 A great post as usual x
Im a dad, and most of these things in my case have never been an issue. I actually enjoy cooking, and before i met my wife i already did my own dishes, washed clothes, clean and i do a good job at keeping stuff clean so i just brought that into my marriage.
Its honestly not as bad as this list says but i know not every couple is the same. But just to give all the moms a positive note, not all guys all like this. And i actually like when my wife is open about certain things, if she needs a “break”, then ill give her a break, its really that simple, in my case because my wife means everything. But most of the time i definatley help out, even like after work, i might watch the baby and she can shower for 30 mins and relax or a nap, either way i enjoy giving her that rest sort to speak. Ill even make dinner or wash dishes ect, so there isnt as much stress.
Also like the cleaning, that doesnt have to be everyday, in our case since we have one baby. Errands i can squeeze in after work or something, planed dates well those can happen on the weekend, or just buying the wife a gift or flowers ect, thats how i help my wife so she is as stress free. So to the moms out there, theres definatley hope, if i can do it surely other dads can.
I definitely think there are families out there where partnerships exist to the point that they might not “relate” to this list- But, I also know there are some families out there who can use it- simply for the reasons that some of the items can be over-looked. I don’t think my husband realized what a treat it was for me to get a couple of hours out on my own, alone, in the beginning when parenthood was so new for us- But, we both know it’s important for us each to have our own time to do what we we each would like to do when time and life permit now that we’ve gotten a little more “seasoned” and aware. 🙂
I agree Tricia. My husband is actually great about ALL of this stuff, five years into parenting on his own volition… but it is because we have learned over time what works. I became a mom quite young (if you consider 24 young) so I think I had a lot of self-work to do to understand what I meant when I “needed a break” just because I had not had a lot of challenging/emotional situations to address on my own before. I would feel overwhelmed and wasn’t sure how to ask for help, so having concrete ways really made it easier to consider how hubby could support me. Thanks for commenting 🙂
I am blessed with a very supportive and helpful husband, but I remember having to be very specific with him and give him ideas like in this post because he simply didn’t know what to do to help me. I guess I forgot that men do not think like women and we have to have realistic lists for them.
Great post!
You described my day perfectly! I have 4 boys and it was a big decision that required a lot of work and sacrifice for me to be able to stay home once I had our 2nd son. I love being home with them, but it is a lot of hard work! We also had our first child young (at 23) and I really didn’t know how to ask for help. My husband is now much better about letting me sleep in on the weekends (if 7:30 counts as sleeping in) and helping out in some of these ways, but I had to ask for them specifically. I think this is great for to get moms thinking about practical ways that they can ask their husbands to help if they aren’t already. And, if they’re not, it’s not because they’re bad husbands or fathers, they just don’t think the same way that we do. Thanks for posting 🙂
I think this is a great list, Chelsea. In a perfect world, household chores and child rearing would be divided evenly between spouses but statistics tell us that is just not the case, even in houses where both parents work outside the home.
I have a supportive and loving husband who is always happy to help. In the early days after my son was born though I had a really difficult time asking for his help or telling him that I needed a break (in fact I still do, although I’m much more comfortable with it now). He has a stressful job that requires him to take evening calls, attend meetings on weekends, etc. I felt so fortunate to be able to do what I always dreamed of, which was to stay home with my son rather than send him to daycare and go back to a job I hated. So I felt like I had no business complaining or asking for help. I would try to do it all until I got so overwhelmed I would explode. In chats with other stay at home moms I know that I wasn’t alone in feeling this way.
We can’t expect our spouses or partners to read our minds. This list would be a great thing for new parents to read together, even if it’s the dad who needs a break. I’m all for parents doing whatever they can to understand where the other is coming from. Thanks for an important post!
Great list! I am lucky to have a hubby who does several of these on a regular basis but I agree with Tabitha, sometimes I have to be specific and ask for a break. It is hard to explain that although I looove being home with my kids, I don’t really get time to myself, even during naptimes because I have to squeeze so much into that time. I use the word “headspace” to describe it…my thoughts are not allowed to wonder and go where they want all day- they are always thinking about the kids, or what I have to do next. I just need my own headspace for a while!
No matter how hard we try to say goodbye to gender divisions in the home, ultimately, somewhere along the way, there is a division. In my home, we are fairly non-traditional even though I stay at home with my boys. You see, I hardly ever cook, cleaning is a priority for both of us, he is always an active participant in our family and supporter of me. Yet these tips are still so relevant because I still carry the burden of “taking care of the home”. Life gets busy and often we need reminders to bring us home again. #10 is especially relevant to our circumstances!
I am lucky enough to be able to stay home with my daughter while watching another child (double trouble). Moms are on call every second of every day. Even if they were napping, the second I sat down with a book and opened it or if I picked up the phone, something would happen where I would not get the chance to relax. Without a break, it gets exhausting! Even a 30 minute, uninterrupted shower is a nice break for me being that I can’t even use the bathroom all day without knocking or being walked in on. Fun times, but a break is definitely in need every so often!
Our family has settled into pretty “traditional” roles, I do lots (all!) of the cooking and cleaning and care for the kids all day, he goes to work and does the gardening. It’s what we both enjoy. There are lots of things on this list that would be a great reminder for my hubby. I’d love to know what I can do for him! I’m thinking ahead to Father’s Day. He always says he doesn’t want anything, and never asks for anything for himself.
Great list
Actually I might leave this open on the computer later on lol, I’m a SAHM & can relate to this.
Particularly the ‘never ending’ part & I don’t think it’s 1950’s at all because mums are usually the ones who do all the household chores whether they’re a traditional SAHM or a working mum.
Im lucky, My partner does try to help out lots & he does work hard so I’m blessed to have the financial stability to be a stay at home with the kids & watch them grow, i would never change this but sometimes it’s frustrating that he can “knock off” sometimes I wish I could just sit down & be ‘finished’ for the day at a certain time lol but then again I couldn’t do that (even if I worked ft) I’d never want to miss any of my babies first & i want to be there for them, teach & watch there happiness 🙂
I echo the above comments – I could SO relate to this article. We choose that I should stay home – and I’m happy with that choice. But the breaks Chelsea shared with us still sound divine! 🙂
I must admit that I am very blessed to have a husband that does most of these things without asking, but yes there too have been times when he has slacked off a little but it all sorted itself out. Number 6 is a biggy, I would love it if my husband organised something and also number 8 would be a lovely treat. Every home is different too, every husband/partner has different jobs and working hours, so what works for some households may not work for others. As a SAHM I don’t mind doing the majority of things purely because I enjoy it and it’s all part & parcel of being able to be at home with my son. I’d certainly prefer it over having to work and have him in daycare – I’ve tried this and didn’t like it.
How about a break for some of us dads. Im out working 10+ hours a day but still walk in the door at 6 30pm and pick up all the mess.
Start by clearing the kids breakfast off the table and floor where its been spillt, toast picked from loungroom floor. Pick up all the random dishes throughout the house. Do the dishes. Take out all the garbage.
Vaccum kitchen and laundry. By this time its 8 oclock and the kids need to be bathed and put to bed.
I sometimes hint to her that she should get off facebook and bath the kids but ‘you havent seen them all day you bath them’ is the usual response.
So 7 out of 10 times ill bath the kids and then put our youngest daughter to bed while she puts the oldest to bed.
Lay on the floor for an hour in my daughters bedroom while she tries to get to sleep and its now 9 30 and my day has finally ended.
I hate this stereotype that SAHM have it so hard and they all do everything and need a break.
What about as dads who are full time workers and full time cleaners/bathers/vaccumers/dish washers.
Id love to be able tobwalk in at 6 30 and sit down for half an hour and have a beer and unwind. But if i dont continue working till 9 or 10 the house would descend into feral town.
Thanks for your input Shane and I definitely agree that the stereotype is not true for all families. It sounds like you already help your wife quite a bit, and I’m sure (or at least I hope) she appreciates it! Every family has a delicate balance that can only be worked out with open communication. I hope you might be able to get a break too!
Please write a book! If more dads were like you it would truly feel like a partnership. Kudos to you! Im sure the beer will taste even better after all your chores are done. As badly as you crave that 30 minutes it eventually comes. As a mom who knows when a break will come, you get home at 630, but we have been working since before you left for work, and if a child is sick or wakes up in the night guess whos sleep gets cut short, and cant call into work for a sick day (24 hr workday for SAHM’S). You do minimal but id take the help!
What if he’s the one getting up in the night and goes to work sick. Women of the past are no more!
Thanks for posting SE. This is exactly how it is for us. I’m now 5 years into this routine and have actually given up hope on having any ‘me’ time so that the wife can have break from the tiny terrors. I’m in this endless cycle where I’m actually operating a 7-6 work day and then take over house/children duties from 6-10pm five days a week. 10-midnight I try and do a little bit more work and/or extra training to further my career. Occasionally the wife likes to go away at the weekends with her friends/group of moms so I have the kids then too.
My friends no longer ask me out as they know I would not be able to and I can’t remember the last time I did any hobby related stuff that I used to enjoy. However I do have new hobbies like school craftwork and reading children’s stories etc however these are not my soul food.
Yes so SAHM don’t have it easy but neither are all dads. I am the main bread earner and the things that keep me up at night constantly are: being made redundant at work, ensuring all the bills are paid on time, household budget is ok and enough left over so the wife can go out and have a good time occasionally. I also have to ensure all family activities/trips/holidays are planned. I have half term just around the corner next week and I’m already stressing about where to take everyone.
I have nobody close anymore that I can talk to. I used to tell the wife how I feel but don’t bother anymore as I’d just be moaning, I accept that my life is 95% of the time miserable and depressing due to this never ending schedule but I love my family to bits and feel my personal sacrifice is worth it and more importantly know this isn’t going to last forever as it won’t be long before the kids are big and can help out.
I always have a wry smile when I hear my wife’s circle of moms complain that working dads have it easy and that going to work is ‘a break’ and that we should do more. Yes please take my job and take the sh*t that I have to put up with five days a week there as well. Did suggest I take a less stressful job and do a less paid job but it didn’t fly as she didn’t like the idea of downsizing the home, giving up the car, annual holiday etc.
Sorry for the rant.. but I’m lying on the floor hear waiting for the kids to fall asleep.
it is difficult being the stay at home parent, as well the working parent. I’ve been on both sides- 7 years a working parent and now 5 years a stay at home parent. There is a difference. While both are exhausted and work hard and deserve breaks, I definitely feel as though it is much more stressful being a stay at home mom. Here’s why, when you go to work- generally you dislike your job and to some degree don’t really give a f*** if the company stays open or surprises you one day by letting you go. Face it, you’re there to get paid. But you have no obligation to its future. You also have other grown ups you can talk to. You have a job that, according to the company, means something. You live under the impression your job has value.
Now a stay at home parent has an obligation and true unspoken meaning to the outcome of these children and how they will act and who they will be in life and how they feel about things. There is rarely any silent work on your project time, and usually silence is frightening when children are concerned. A typical day your thoughts are your child’s thoughts, your actions revolve around what your child does, and whenever you do want to do something- like write a comment in a blog- it’s easy to lose train of thought because you get to answer a million curious questions. And all of this is fine, it’s the decision we made. Our minds are steel traps, we have the nerves of a lion, and the instincts of… Well, a really in tune parent. But we are human and if we don’t get some moments a week to have our own thoughts, potential emotional breakdowns ensue.
Here’s the difference of a working parent, you aren’t home aaaaaaaaaaaallllllll day with kids- the most powerful forces in the world. You don’t have that same bond, and I mean energy radar thing, that always keeps you on your toes and ready to react and do. Your bond is getting to come home and spend objective time with kids that are grateful to see you after not seeing you all day, especially since much of the day you were a neutral party and didn’t have to wear the black hat. Not all moms are as involved, but the desire for a break is for the ones that work their ass off and turn their lives to their kids. It’s intense and frustrating to spend your days saying, no, no, no, don’t do this or that, stop that, be nice, etc. it’s rewarding as heaven to watch them grow and do amazing things as well, but sometimes we are silently envious they get to run around and play with passion and wonder, while we sit as spectators, mediators, and referees. Yes, we can play too, but somebody needs to be the responsible one.
Anyways, it’s an amazing gift that comes with its requirements, usually our sanity and sense of being and individualism. Fear not, when the kids are grown we can be the cool old parents in track suits and heels or leather crop tops and biker boots discovering new hobbies and not giving a f*** what people think of us because we raised awesome people.
I love this and it’s a great list. I just wish I could post this to my Facebook, but I would have to hide it from my BF. He just doesn’t understand how being a stay at home mom is not always easy especially when you have no breaks and no one to help you out. You have tons of chores that only you end up doing and it’s really hard when he’s too tired himself to even help. I get it, we’re all tired but we still need to do our part and help pitch in. The moms who get help from family everyday especially the young moms need to feel blessed. Not everyone is lucky enough to have help or family around.
It is so hard when partners don’t understand. I hope that he starts to see how much you do and experience soon. In my experience, the empathy grows over time as the partner has a turn caring for the child(ren) for longer periods.
Okay, so my wife and I made the decision to have her stay home and raise the kids. I work my ass off as a construction worker, as did my father, 6 to 7 days a week to provide for my family (a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl). I understand that being a stay at home mom is not easy, but neither is being the only income in a household. The stress I have to deal with so the bills get paid and food is on the table is at times unbearable. I don’t expect, but would like a tidy house and perhaps a meal that I don’t have to prepare, but would love to juse be able to come home and relax wit my kids without being attacked and told “I need to get away!” I think the women today are not like the women of my mom’s time, I’m 38, and I think it’s unfair to me as a construction father to have to deal with this kind of negativity for not wanting to help with dishes or laundry. My mom did it, so can you!
Thank you for this post! It;s like you took the words out of my mouth! I have a good husband, but I don’t think he realizes that sometimes I just need a break from being a full-time mom and homemaker.He can’t totally relate because he never does what I do- I get it, but I still need his help and support sometimes! My daughter is 27 months old, and I love her more than life itself, but I haven’t spent more than three hours away from her since she’s been born. You tell me….do you think I need a break?
I’m a husband I love my wife and kids I wake up 5.30 to go to work everyday and I miss them everyday I leave for work. I have no choice but to work I got to pay the rent put food on the table. My wife is stressed and overwhelmed and I feel for her but what can I do. I come home and cook I do the dishes I do the laundry I do the groceries and I tell her to take a break when I get home or make plans to go out with her sisters but nothing works!!! She says I go to work I have fun and make jokes but I tell her its not what you think I work very hard at my job with many responsibilities,deadlines and attention to detail and I see my coworkers 40 hours out of the week I have no choice but to get along with everyone at work. Its tuff its frustrating especially cause I would give my wife the world if I could but financially its a struggle, everyday I think about sending her to a spa getting her a gift just to say thank u but I just don’t make enough to spoil her. Now she said you stay home with the kids I want to work, my reply I would never get in the way of anything you ever want to do whatever will make u happy this is where we are!!
Wife has been stressing about needing a break for a month now , we are 6 months in with a new daughter.
Working with someone bipolar and that has not gotten back on her meds due to being prego…its not easy.
I wish there was more time off for me so that I can spend it with my daughter so that mom can do what she wants.
I would love to be a stay at home dad. Impossible due to where my wife is with work and education and where I am already pulling in the money to care for us 3.
I must be insane….cause I can’t get enough of my daughter…screaming crying…doesn’t matter. I feel not a cent of frustration…I must be odd.
You sound like a very loving father. Best wishes finding support for yourself and your wife – reading this article shows that you are putting in the effort, which is the most important thing.