Our family has moved to different cities four times since I became a mother 8 years ago and, if I had to choose the hardest part about all those moves, it would be having to make new friends all over again.
Sure I can always still connect with my old friends via social media or email or phone, but I find there’s nothing quite like having a friend nearby who I can chat with face-to-face on a regular basis.
Sadly it is not always easy to make friends after becoming a mother, especially when you have kids under five years old.
You might be isolated in the house for hours on end, caring for babies or toddlers without another adult within sight. You generally have to schedule meet-ups around naptimes, which isn’t always predictable especially when numerous children of different ages are being considered. And even if you can get all the stars aligned to see each other, it is rare to be able to engage in anything more than small talk when you are chasing littlies around.
What about going out after bed time? You may not have childcare available to go out with friends on your own but, even when you do, you are tired! Sometimes too tired to stay out much past bedtime and maybe even too tired to talk about little else than how much you want to sleep when you actually are away.
Sound a bit familiar? Okay so it may not be all that bad (though some weeks it is, right?!). But the point is: friends are precious. It isn’t always easy to make them but I consider it absolutely necessary to treasure them.
Here are 5 reasons you need your mama friends, and why I personally prioritise making new friendships whenever I move to a new place.
5 Reasons to Treasure Your Mama Friends
1. They can help you remember that you aren’t alone.
When you are worn down with troubles, it can be quite lonely. Talking with other mothers will remind you that you aren’t the only one facing hardship, because they have experienced similar struggles too. We’re all in this sometimes rocky journey of life together and no one, whatever it looks like from the outside, has a perfectly easy life. Sharing your lows takes so much of the load off of your shoulders.
2. They remind you that you don’t have to be perfect.
Your mama friends will remind you that perfection is not necessary to be a good person or a good parent. As your friends share their struggles and mistakes, you will give yourself grace to have them as well. Doing your best and learning each day is what really matters.
A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.
– Arnold H. Glasow
3. They can help you see yourself from a new perspective.
Mothers can become so focused on their children’s needs that they forget to value themselves. Friends can help you remember that you are a person deserving of love, care, and compassion as well… the title of mother doesn’t take away your individuality. Everyone needs a little Tender Loving Care sometimes and our friends can remind us to look at our own selves and see that.
4. They can give you good advice.
You may not make the same decisions or choose to follow the exact same path, but friends can share some really valuable advice and information to help you along your own journey. Having issues with getting meals on the table each day? Having trouble getting your child to open up about what’s going on in school? Ask a mama friend and she might have the perfect solution for you to try at this season in your life.
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
– Elizabeth Foley
5. They can encourage you to follow your dreams.
Really want to start your own business but not sure if you should? Interested in getting a new degree but unsure if you can handle it? Friends will cheer you on and tell you to GO FOR IT. There’s nothing like having a friend to cheer you on and tell you that you should reach for the stars.
Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.
–Eleanor Roosevelt
Yep, friends are super important. It’s not always easy to make them, but it’s really worth the effort to maintain a friendship once you have it. If you haven’t found a group of friends yet (which is a VERY common issue for new mothers), go and read my friend Erica’s advice about how to do this.
Going out for lunch, meeting at the park or sharing afternoon tea together is a vital part of maintaining the relationship, even if you are both often “too busy” to see each other. It doesn’t have to happen all the time, but getting connected on a regular basis is so very valuable.
So go and schedule a date with your bestie right now. You might just need it more than you realise… and she might, too.
What do you love most about your mama friends?
Thanks to Bondi Chai (the maker of my favourite morning drink!!) for providing the refreshments for our mama meet up a few weeks ago. Our group had such a good time catching up and learning about the importance of emotional intelligence and self-management techniques in parenting over a cup of tea. We can’t wait to do it again!
I received product from Bondi Chai for a Moments A Day event. All opinions are my own. To read more about reviews on my website, visit this page.
As a grandmother now, mama friends will help you through the empty nest years. My life was lived through my kids and their activities. So when they went to college, my social life was instantly gone. It was necessary for me to then find myself and discover what I enjoyed. It would have been much easier had I maintained my group of friends.